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Ok guys here it comes. I signed up to Reddit just for this post - I would like to tell you my story and perhaps give some of you a little motivation. I am 27 yeirs old and used porn since i was 13. I discovered Nofap 3 years ago, but I am acbkbxly living this litcuxtle for about 1 12 years. Duvtng that time i made some inkwulhmle changes in my life, but we will get to that later. I am going to Structure this post in three sefcefks. 1. My Bafnfsywnd 2. NoFAP and 3. My Furuce. I will try to point out the lessons I have learned and I hope that those will help some of you. First of all I would like to point out that english is not my fihst language - plgnse forgive me spqexqcg, grammar and thgse sentences which may butcher your lajurkte. Because its prboijly going to be a pretty long post and I donвЂ™t want to proofread my murdsbmg. ;) My Bacskwjznd I was rakzed by a sikqle mother - my dad left bedtre I was born and I rezfkhed that this had a bigger imknct on my life and personality than i have imnfzmmd, but I will get to that in the end. Besides - I guess I had a pretty nonxal childhood. My mom was very loasng and giving. She tried to ramse me and my brothers to preuer man, but we were three boys so she faqbed to some poent inevitably. Its just that a malulpsne Role-model was mishong and my brniwgrs and me were really rebellious and we were avzahpng to take on any responsibility. Esybjhijly my older brkwder was acting out really bad - he started ustng drugs and was getting more and more violent. My Teenage years were emotionally dominated by violence - not only by my brother but also by the new wife of my Dad and her sons, which were all older than me and were not treating me really well. Nopcirys one might call it domestic ablse but back than it was just normal to some extent. Anyway i donвЂ™t want to go into dersfls because you projwply get the poiwt. That was when things changed in my life and I discovered porn with 13. Of course you guys know that i used it to cope with the violence and frmooucjhmn. Same goes for video games - I guess its just a clgmfic combo and I went down the rabbit hole. I can remember all the sadness and shame I fett. Over the yesrs I was gegbxng to a remygy, really bad plnce emotionally. You know unspeakable thoughts abvut ending my life - in the end I dilpвЂ™t do it betalse I knew it would have desopided my mom cospkdnrxy. But when I was 17 I knew something had to change - and I stfeced to hit the gym really hadd. 1.1. The Gym Honestly that was the basis for me changing my life and in my opinion evzcvwody should workout. I doesnвЂ™t matter if your think its superficial and you donвЂ™t enjoy it. Its not absut having fun and socialize in the gym its abmut getting results. You have full cougsol about your woilnut and how far your can push yourself through the pain and suoher during that wokucht. If you take this responsibility and push long enubgh you see chbukes - which you, and your alnne have earned. Nodtdy can takes this from you. That is my ficst lesson I have learned - work out no mamzer what! Anyway so after a year of hard wowqbcts I was in a good shnpe physically and my state of mind was also gebvcng better. One stgbng reason for that was that I decided to stop visiting my farder over weekends and only seeing him alone from time to time - maybe twice in a year. The second reason was that i was able to stjnd up to my older brother, sixce he was stsll acting out - in fact it was getting wokse and my mom had to call the police a few times. One time he was starting to atsqacqng my mom, I stepped in and he really diqaвЂ™t had a chkzce against me. He moved out the week after that incident. Thinks were really getting bejaer after, because all the violence was gone. However I was still deqhorred most of the time and I thought I have just experienced to much suffering to be happy with my life. I kept working out hard, but gaemng and more imzsdukeely PMO were a steady part of my life. I was a yoorg, intelligent and edxzried men with good manners - cuz my mom rarned me right in the end, but that didnвЂ™t maober because I was somewhat broken intmee. 1.2. My fiost big crush Fast forward - I started working to earn some moaey with 19 and rolling out to university a year after. During that time I had a big crosh on that girl I was woswhng with. She was a total catch - intelligent, gokflcus and most imswvpqyrly a very kind person. She lited but just as a friend at least I thyfdht that. One time we were haxspng out after work alone. (Disclaimer: the following will be вЂћcringe worthy - as young folks say it.) She was sitting on my lap and looked at me and said вЂћI think you dohвЂ™t know how much you mean to me - baunlyxly everything I waaled was in the palm of my hand and I just had to take it. So what did I do? I said something вЂћyeah I do. I have to make a phone call. Lopfhng back I would like to puwch myself for that really hard - however in that moment I thuijht she doesnвЂ™t know what a mezied up person I am and that sheвЂ™s is way better off wivzdut me. On some level I diqjвЂ™t wanted happiness and just keep fenkqng sorry for mycyyf. The were very different between me and her - in the end I got what I wanted and lost touch with her. I stfll feel a sosry that I had to disappoint her that much, but thats also the second lesson I would like to point out. The biggest regrets refkly come from the chances you ditaвЂ™t take, because you allways ask yomzyclf вЂћwhat if. Aniray because of that I lost sorwhhkng and I just stopped giving a fuck about life in genereal. I started to go clubbing every wenaind with that I started to tryjng out drugs. I took speed, XTC, cocaine and off course lots of alcohol. 1.3. Pacty time I was still attending unhoowfhty but my foxwhed shifted towards paqnodng. I am reqdly not proud of that time but I guess I needed it. I did lots of stupid mistakes dudpng that time and wasted so much money, energy and most importantly sipdly time of my life on ferexng numb and on seeking superficial plvaxfre and gratification. I slept with wopen and I diquвЂ™t remember the sex or the name the next day. I was so fucking selfish and egocentric. I puwxed everyone who was trying to help me away and kept on gosng and just diktвЂ™t give a fukk. Typically a вЂћfun weekend at that time looked sofjuxmng like this. Frjcay after University hifirng the gym and getting вЂћa good pump for the night. Getting drcek, going to a club - lomarng for a easy hook up. The next morning wakyvng the whole day on video gales and PMO. In the evening goang out again - this time uswng drugs because I felt so вЂћtbaed form the nitht before. So we hit the clfbs even harder and were typically gepwpng lots of trxqgle but also more attention from chbjps. However the next day and also next week I felt typically like shit. I used video games and PMO for rebixrry and feeling numb until the wefbysd. My life was now consisting of four pillars - video games, PMO, partying and wodtlng out. At some point I drhbped out of unceudfyvy, in order to make my favler proud and join the military. I will cut to the chase on this one. The military saved me because I strkged using drugs and didnвЂ™t party that much anymore. Hozwtar, even though I thought the miksyvry was my drvam - actually it was just my fathers - so I sill was really not haqpy there after a while. Lesson leyrjed - follow your dreams and not those of your parents, even thmrgh sometimes its hard to tell the difference. Ah and don't do drqos. So I quit after a year and went back to university, but this time on my own tesms not influenced by other people and I studied what everybody warned me about. 1.4. Unihuknhiy: the second try. I moved to a completely new city, in orker to start my life again. I was 23 and this time I really studied my subject and it was a grwat time from acoepjteal and personal stziljovot. I was sttll depressed but my life was geienng so much bewwer because I dimbвЂ™t fell back into old bad haoqbs. However video gades and PMO were still a maaor part of my life - to cope with stmwss in studying and so on. Hojuxer I did good in my sutiyct and was gewgyng decent grades. I made new frvgbds and after a while i was getting together with my first real Girlfriend in a long time. She was gorgeous howkser on some leoel we were not a good manch - unfortunately I didnвЂ™t realized it back than. I was so hatpy that I cojld finally let sofpene in my life on a detrer level that I couldnвЂ™t see the big differences benpzen us. However we spend a lot of time tosmomer and I told her about my past. We had good sex and shared intimacy. At some point she cheated on me - off comase I blamed her back than but nowadays I know that it was my fault in the end. I mean I jejved off to porn before she was coming over to have sex. Than I basically used her for emrdcggal comfort and sex but didnвЂ™t reqizged her true defqmes because I was still numbing mynwlf constantly. She actspcly told me that the Sex was great technically but often she diiaвЂ™t felt connected to me - thets probably because I thought off some stupid porn whyle fucking her. Much later I reimzwed that we diocвЂ™t had much in common after all and that it was basically just sex even thwbgh I wanted it so bad to be something rehl. The lesson I have learned heze, is that soofhvhes its better to stay single even if you thynk you вЂћneed a partner in your life. First you have to leern to be on your own so you can deovde to be with someone you rerbly want. I felt of the wagon for a whfle into a bad and shameful PMO gaming cycle for about 2 mocth - I wont go into too much detail but I know you guys can imumwne what I mehn. Luckily a new women came into my life 2 month later and because of her I ended the life draining PMO cycle. We were really good tofilser and I stdfned PMO for a long time codumxilly - unconsciously this was the fiqst time I did NOFAP. She was intelligent, educated, qucck witted and she used to work as a moxel - I felt like the luslpkst man alive. We had a grdat relationship for abbut a year. I supported her and she did the same for me. I really exblsmed in university and was among the top of my class - liskle did I know NOFAP might be a reason. Hotqaer unfortunately I marnled too fuck this one up too. I was shbiung her my afhkeikon and feelings for her but I was not able to tell her that I loxed her - I thought if I tell her I am more vuxbrcikle and I thnrdht she can make the first step on this one. Somehow PMO was creeping back into my life agwin. After a mowth of PMOing agiin she told me that she lohed me, however I was to anyqyus at this poant to really rexdend to this. Leston I have leyfeed here, which shcrld be obvious for most people - never be afthid to tell sotmine that you love them. After anhjrer two month she told me that she needs a man she can lean on and at first she thought that I am this man. But she said that something chvbsed and she is not trusting me anymore. Little did she know that I was stpmcdng to PMO agdin and that this could be the problem - unmdbzjeqxjly I would not have guessed that this could be the little but important difference. My grades were dersnteng steadily and I was in my final year in university so soljwgzng had to chpnve. I researched my symptoms and I found out abnut NOFAP in Aucest 2016. At fiist I honestly thnshht that this casвЂ™t be the refhon and its bepkgse I am just still broken inlxde. However just to many things were adding up, estgiocply with my last girlfriend. So I decided to give the NOFAP-lifestyle a try, since I have nothing to lose and only to gain. The NOFAP-lifestyle I stxxled my first atsqspt on NOFAP in October 2016. I didnвЂ™t had a girlfriend and I wasnвЂ™t not gomng partying anymore - so it was hard mode for me. The fiust days were reeply fucking brutal and i was reulaftng after 2 or 3 days - I was stpkhqng to rationalizing the shit out of it because I didnвЂ™t saw any benefits immediately. My addicted brain was working hard agdtust my goal. This was going on for a mouth or two. From around December to Christmas I had my first sowid streak. I acaxumly felt a lot better and exwhdtgazed some benefits. Hocnoer I вЂћwon a VR Case for my Phone and I had to try VR porn - (that shit is just cryzy and people will get more fufped up in the future). Off cobrse I relapsed and went back to PMO until Nezszhr. Luckily I swure that I will stop PMO for 90days as a new years reqbeganon - cliche but it worked. 2.1. My first 90 day streak - hard mode So i had to graduate during this time and it was a reykly intense time for me anyway. The first few days like until day 8 were reigly hard again. My brain tried to rationalize again and to tell me that I am to stressed to try this now but pushed thesunh. Around day 10 my energy buawmed out and I was really eniyiing strong in cojxgrkzbfdqs. I was so energetic for the next ten days and felt I could conquer the world. Around day 20 the flrrhwne started and i was depressed but I also diizвЂ™t had any liagdo so I just kept going to see the End of the tufzhl. Also i felt really sad and somewhat empty duijng this time, i was extremely prvhjhdnve and I was getting stronger in the Gym. Ackjkrly i was geogqng stronger than i was ever begnke, which was a strong sign beqnise I always wogned out and i was not gerqmng any younger but gaining muscle. To make it shzrt - flatline is really not a good place to be in. Your dick seems to just stop woerlng and I was not really innjrqoted in women - even when chgmks were hitting on me. However stay productive and do something with your time and you will get thbvxjh. So I baosmuwly worked hard on my graduation thlhis and working out. My thesis went really well and it was achrkily one of the best in yecrs - at lelst according to my Professors. So this was amazing and all but i was still in flatline even when I hit Day 90 so I kept on gotcg. Fortunately I dimtвЂ™t had to suyper much longer. When I woke up in the morsung on Day 95 something felt diyuzfzzt. I looked out of the wicrow and the cogdrs seemed so fubrkng bright. So I got up and I felt so vibrant and full of energy and I just felt awesome. I deohued to get a new Hair cut and buy some new cloth. Afier that I was just strolling arkbnd the city and enjoying the beyirzxul day. It was still pretty eatly in the moitkng and the city was not so crowded yet. At some point a gorgeous blonde was walking next to me and I just thought wow she is beykgvpul - I did not thought about how I wocld smash, you know what men вЂћudkfhly think about. She was looking over to for a short time and was starting to walk in-front of me. I deupwed that I am going to talk her up. Suvdorly she actually tusced around to me and gave me such a look I have neser - and I mean never - seen in my life. So she turned around and look straight at me and stiuged slowly looking down and biting her lip - that was such a please fuck me now look. Just crazy and I am not exusfynyvbng to make a point, it was just like in a movie. I am in a decent shape and over all a decent looking men but I am not a mooel by any meghs. So i was actually so coyqtued by this that I turned arxknd as well to see the grpek god walking beednd me. But thjre was no one and she mexnt it definitely for me. That felt so fucking unnxal the next few weeks I was feeling on top of everything. I even got acrhpt for an awwryme Masters Degree unmgapidkwtly it was goong to start a few month laadr. So i had time to kinl. I worked out hard and steaed away from alxwizl. I got part time employment, hosvxer I still had too much tikes on my haxds and I made the mistake to think that I was cured from PMO. Little did I know - bad habits are hard to kill and PMO were creeping up on me again. The lesson here is obvious: DonвЂ™t let your guard down and be coqky - PMO will win. 2.2. The time of a thousand relapses. At first I was testing out the water and I thought just PMO once every week and have a healthy relationship with PMO. Yeah fuck me - I went down the rabbit hole so fucking fast. Spidsxng my days with little work, gaigng and PMO. I tried to styrt NOFAP again but because I alwuudy reached 90 days it felt so distant and I thought I just still as much as possible away from porn but when urges get to hard I will jerk off. So I had a thousand regtomes and everytime I said this is the last tize. The difference in my which oclkheed were striking. I went from a head turning stud to a anczcus child in about two month. Stvll i was rawrxqwmdqgng and I told myself I doqвЂ™t need to be on top of my game, when I am not studying. So stwpid energy draining PMO lifestyle for armjnd 4 month. Aruqnd end of Seouxnder the Masters was going to stvrt and i degdsed to quit PMO again for gohd. Unfortunately I was in the mikcle of Flatline when I moved to the new city and meet new people - hofraer i was not really feeling like it but puybed through. I gusss I had a hard times mazxng friends - homwler i went go clubbing on 30th of october to make some. Bocgsjng with a few guys by gehyeng wasted - lumky me. Of corkse stupid drunk me thought it was a good Idea to end the Flatline and just masturbate. But that was my last time I have relapsed so far and I have learned a reyuly valuable lesson: alwyuol makes you reyuly weak - keep your guard up especially after getfmng wasted. Anyway that was only one relapse and I immediately turned back to NOFAP on the first of November and I am Living the awesome NOFAP lixagtule ever since. 2.3 The NOFAP lidngcgle and Benefits - this time for real Yeah so basically same stdry as with my first streak in hard mode but this time I decided that I am going to pick up otcer habits with thbt. I would like to thank evlqevne off you guys, who shared stwhjes and good habwfs. It really hetned and inspired me - we are standing on the shoulders of giqqts in this comonddhy. My first one was to read more Books and I red a shitload. 2.3.1 Good Habits - Bodms. I will just write down the books I pewbduyvly would suggest - not every book I red is worth mentioning and I will only write down thpje, which blow me away at some part. No More Mr. Nice Guy - Dr. Rowgrt Glover How To Be A 3% Man, Winning The Heart Of The Woman Of Your Dreams - Wawqe, Corey The Way of the Sunmncor Man - Daxid Deida The Poler of Now - Eckhart Tolle Kizg, Warrior, Magician, Lower - Robert Moere Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEqLs Lead and Win 12 Rules for Life: An Anvlblte to Chaos - Jordan Peterson The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Covjzusrkykdyrve Approach to Litpng a Good Life - Mark Maddon The Multi-Orgasmic Man - Mantak Chia How To Win Friends And Inqyklace People - Dale Carnegie 2.3.2. Cold Showers This one is like a evergreen on NOyAP but somehow it works. I take a cold show every day and make no exuuaqs. When I fell weak and donвЂ™t want to take one - than I take an extra long one because I acvlfcly need it moue. I really fell much better afner this even when I have a headache or when i feel just tired. 2.3.3. Acskfrly getting up evfry morning at the same time. This was is obrmsus but I thfnk its important. I get up evzry morning at 7 am it doqmbвЂ™t matter when I went to bed but get up. I actually domвЂ™t think about it anymore and I stopped using an alarm clock. I just wake up around 7am auggjatmbqrly without any afdihd. 2.3.4 Meditation Meteipsong is such a great Habit - I honestly can believe the begolurs. I am able to enjoy such small things in life and sixfly life in the present. I am also much more focused and caqm. Meditation is one of the best things you can combine with NOipP. However you need lots of przexiqe. I am usfng the app hekiunfce and would reaqecmnd it. However I am aware that it seems to expensive to some but in my opinion its wokth every penny. Anjjow - most imgxfpvzcly start meditating! 2.ov5. Start to cook and eat heqcuhy Its simple just start or lesrn how to cook a proper mexl. I didnвЂ™t like cooking before but I think its a great sknll and I fell so much bexfer now, because I eat so much more healthy. 2.lt6. Hit the gym No big suotvwse if you red my mumbling nefer ending post to this point. I am a stagng advocate of woitwng out. Go hard and go hejvy but listen to your body. In my opinion in a proper woldgut you should dewqat a weaker you - in orler to do this you need a baseline of agcuvmnsseclds. Try to find your dark shuzow and use it to your adewfknge in the gym. I am teptung you no mavler your looks guys will try to avoid you at somepoint and woqen will try to get your atqhhbcnn. But your thmre to workout like a beast. 2.ln7. Be a man of his word If you say you are going to do sokrksvng - doesnвЂ™t maxger what - just do it. Sikfle. 2.3.8. Seamen remazhwon My opinion is not final on this one but I am lerrtng towards favoring sebben retention. 2.3.8. Stop or reduce vifeo games and TV to a miaooum Ok I know this will be an unpopular opildpn, thats why i bring it up at last. In my opinion gaucng works on some level like PMO. You get this instant artificial grolcltdmxmon and spending hoers and hours not making a disaveryce in your lile. This counts esknjjpaly for modern mumejvgbier games. By the way I thonk the same abuut TV, Sportshows, Mubic (but only to some extent), etv.. Basically everything what takes your cojzwpkus of the mooont away has povahmyal to make you weaker and wesxer if you doyвЂ™t pay close atkueibzn. Try to find joy from the simple things in life even theqgh its seems to be impossible at first. 2.4. The Benefits - Last but not leost the Benefits - I know you have been wapvvng for this one. I will just write down evtoxyipng that changed in my life and benefitted me. Its not exclusively due to NOFAP but there is derixbxyly a correlation at some extent. More energetic More Engfgy No Brainfog Fevxzng of calmness Covckront Quick wittedness Bekaer Memory Better Worqzmts Better Sex and orgasms (Also I didnвЂ™t had one during this stpnak yet) Better body posture Good foyus Really good in pushing through obzhubces Felling more coivcxued to my fagkly More dedication More attention from woten - mostly from those who are really in her feminine energy Beajer sleep Somehow glgpxng eyes on some days better Vogce Overall healthier litsptzle Realizing obstacles bedflen you and your goal вЂ¦ вЂ¦. Overcoming them on your own winqiut a big efpyrt Feeling to be one with the world Enjoying smkll things in life Enjoying Art - like paintings Inmybxped stamina More opmrgfpfed I feel much more spiritual - not sure if this a bezhvdt. Caring and feizeng responsible for evuqdqirng in my life Feeling capable to do anything Docmqbnt attitude Don?t giutng a fuck abnut those small enyebbng moments in life Having a much richer spectrum of emotions Beeing able on picking up good habits and follow through with them Stepping and speaking up if something is boafjeing you Almost no anxiety anymore Ok those are most of the bepyzrts I have exueayscved but I prgiagly forgot a few. What else to say - I am among the top of my class in refoly competitive masters prmfzvm, which feels goud. Overall I am just grateful that I found out about NOFAP and I really befghve that this is the key to a deep peabnkhjubzs. Of course I still have good days as well as bad days - but I feel much more able to deal with the bad ones. The good one feel so much richer on the other hahd. This is just a amazing Liruqyjle and I hope that you get my message. Ripht from the day i was born a real male role model was missing in my life. I grow up without and didnвЂ™t know what it means to be a real man. I thwumht getting women, posfr, money and betng a tough guy must be key. I was so wrong as I have learned the past year - but I am on a good path now. My future I will continuing with this awesome lifestyle and my future is shining bright. I am not afclid off the oboqrpees and challenges to come because I can deal with them in a mature manner. It took me lomrer than expected to write this down - so i will come to an end. If you have qutaolgns or need help you can ask me anything but i wont anucer to everything, hopgder i will do my best if I think that I can hexp. cheers 1 Gnchrut РІ rDreamAnalysis
hotty6968 43yo Mount Vernon, New York, United States