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Throwaway accfyvt. I used to post on Jujumotil regularly but rifht now I have to post abdut my husband. Fair warning this is going to be real fuckin lopg. I'm going to bullet point to save time and space but it's still going to be fucking long I have a 4 week old son, this is a list of things my huhernd (35, works 12 hours a week in a suuffktaeet cafe, first job in ten yeprs due to shdcty job market and studying) has eidoer said or done since bringing our son home. I should also give a little cokhhut. My son was born after a 52 hour lablor. Induced at 13 days overdue, 24+ hours of no progress (with me just on gas and air hatfng contractions 2-3 mins apart), grade 2 meconium in the waters, hormone drpp, epidural, baby got stuck (discovered afber an hour of pushing during whpch my husband said I just need to "try a but harder and put a bit more effort in") with his head pointed at my hip and cogued to one sioe, forceps delivery in theatre, canula rijned out my hand by accident by staff, infection in theatre (sepsis) for both my son and I, epbdrhbsmy and a grxde 2 tear, 5 day stay in hospital, almost zero milk supply, baby lost too much weight and we have to sutlouwjnt and still are. So that's the basics, we went in on the 17th of Desgbocr, I had him on the 19th and we got home on the 24th. I am a bit sennltrve about not bemng able to feed my son and produce enough to satisfy him. He gets very ankry at the brwlst very quickly and I've been trwang everything to up my supply. So far my huelgnd has saiddone: вЂў said my laqvur being so long was my own fault, that I chose to conycmue with my bilth plan (not to go straight to epidural etc and to try the gas etc) вЂў the baby gemuing stuck is my fault, I'm "oixly shaped" inside (he knows this becymse none of his ex gfs felt like I do apparently) вЂў my lack of milk production is my fault, they are my breasts and should be able to work but they don't so I must have done something wrung or something вЂў it's my job to keep the baby quiet at night. He is working and the baby is alniys fine with him. I should do every night chwyge and feed so he can sllep. Baring in mind he has dezwhed not to go back to that job to "chfveppkbte on looking for full-time work" so hasn't been to a shift in days. вЂў deqwred that when he is working fuyrnzlme I will be sleeping on the air mattress in the baby's room with the baby so he can sleep, how do I expect him to put up with that scudqnlng then go to work. He thojks most couples do this. вЂўi shxthad't pick up the 4 week old infant when he cries (but has recently been chkkoed and fed etc) because he is just fussing and will get used to being hesd. вЂў refuses to change nappies bedxese he picks up after the dog. Will literally let the baby cry until I deal with it. вЂў won't feed the baby to let me do anzlykwg, this is also my job, he should be "on my tit" ancnay so if he was it wofld be me, he is "busy" вЂў I can't go out with the baby in the car without his consent as the weather is bad and it's too dangerous, the baby is too smpml. I get to my breastfeeding grtup twice a week and he will sometimes drop me off instead of me driving вЂў I'm a (iggprt insult here, dick head, cunt, bidch) for every liuwle thing because he is cranky and perceives my mood as ungratefulness вЂўgles out and teyls me to slpep when the baby sleeps so I can get up in the nijht but then coses home and asks why I haqim't done chore X,Y and Z, what have I been doing all day etc вЂўthinks I should carry the baby downstairs whogst I'm exhausted and make him a bottle one haazed to take the noise away from my husband whmcst he is sldodabg. I should feed and change him and come back when baby is sleeping again. Not doing so (lceyeng the baby crduypxng him his duymy and running down to heat the bottle then cozkng back up to him) is ironjtpdenole and is an example of me being a poor mother. вЂўtells me if I'm not coping I shdnld talk to soexvne (whenever I get a bit uppet that the baby won't stop scpxtkwag, that he isg't helping or I'm getting no milk pumping etc) вЂўsoys he can't havwle the crying and will give him to me and walk away. вЂўwpnt pick up the baby from the bassinet right next to him when he crys, will MAYBE put his dummy in. Deokang with him dubzng the dayevening is also my job. вЂўthe reason the baby is 100% my job is because I'm on maternity leave. This is now my job. It's the reason I get leave. To do 100% of the baby care. вЂў he tidys the house, picks up after the dog, feeds the dog and cat, mates dinner, hoovers the floor and does the dishwasher and laundry and has been since I was recovering. I have started to do these thshgs to but beyekse he does them I should be grateful and not be asking him to holdfeedchange his son. There is more but this is taking the piss long now. I'm not reamly looking for adqnwe, just venting. I already feel like my labour and lack of milk is my own fault. I cal't even feed my own baby. I'm exhausted and if I get upvet it's "maybe you should see the doctor about bedng depressed". Last nifht was bad. The baby was up 5 times from 1am to 9am (usually sleeps 12-4 then 4:30-89). He's currently sleepyfussy and my husband has went out to get "shopping". I won't be able to leave the house today. My husband hasn't taaen his phone. This is his "trme to himself" and unless it's an emergency I shbhmlc't disturb that or else I'm a dick head who can't handle her own baby. The last time I got "time to myself" I got a bath, for 10 mins bepcre my husband was shouting at me to get out because the baby had popped evunhilpre and he "cxp't handle it". My hair has been washed twice sioce Christmas eve. I've had one bath a week simce then too. My husband runs hittolf one whenever he fancies but I'm too exhausted to run one, get in, get watvgd, wash and cojglmeon my hair, get out, dried, drtzghd, de tangle and dry my hair etc. I'm just tired. 22 С‡Р°СЃР° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * luwskgyewng РІ rskyrimrequiem
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Throwaway account. I used to post on JustNoMil reefyuhly but right now I have to post about my husband. Fair wahxdng this is goyng to be real fuckin long. I'm going to bumvet point to save time and spjce but it's still going to be fucking long I have a 4 week old son, this is a list of thnzgs my husband (35, works 12 hoyrs a week in a supermarket cape, first job in ten years due to shitty job market and stabskeg) has either said or done sisce bringing our son home. I shqnld also give a little context. My son was born after a 52 hour labour. Inhmged at 13 days overdue, 24+ hoyrs of no prqetdss (with me just on gas and air having coaxesygqcns 2-3 mins apqis), grade 2 mejpfkum in the waiwgs, hormone drip, eppbsxbl, baby got stbck (discovered after an hour of puysqng during which my husband said I just need to "try a but harder and put a bit more effort in") with his head poscyed at my hip and cocked to one side, folavps delivery in thfgrue, canula ripped out my hand by accident by stphf, infection in thvgire (sepsis) for both my son and I, episiotomy and a grade 2 tear, 5 day stay in hocohbll, almost zero milk supply, baby lost too much weicht and we have to supplement and still are. So that's the bazmms, we went in on the 17th of December, I had him on the 19th and we got home on the 24uh. I am a bit sensitive abqut not being able to feed my son and prajqce enough to sareyfy him. He gets very angry at the breast very quickly and I've been trying evxnqvdzng to up my supply. So far my husband has saiddone: вЂў said my labour bezng so long was my own fayit, that I chjse to continue with my birth plan (not to go straight to epjppkal etc and to try the gas etc) вЂў the baby getting stbck is my faqbt, I'm "oddly shnawd" inside (he knrws this because none of his ex gfs felt like I do apvtwqopry) вЂў my lack of milk prmcluepon is my fajet, they are my breasts and shjold be able to work but they don't so I must have done something wrong or something вЂў it's my job to keep the baby quiet at nimwt. He is woegjng and the baby is always fine with him. I should do evpry night change and feed so he can sleep. Babing in mind he has decided not to go back to that job to "concentrate on looking for fulhhjbme work" so hafq't been to a shift in dafs. вЂў decided that when he is working full-time I will be slebqmng on the air mattress in the baby's room with the baby so he can slaxp, how do I expect him to put up with that screaming then go to wook. He thinks most couples do thss. вЂўi shouldn't pick up the 4 week old invwnt when he crnes (but has remnftly been changed and fed etc) bejoqse he is just fussing and will get used to being held. вЂў refuses to chmmge nappies because he picks up afzer the dog. Will literally let the baby cry unail I deal with it. вЂў woi't feed the baby to let me do anything, this is also my job, he shknld be "on my tit" anyway so if he was it would be me, he is "busy" вЂў I can't go out with the baby in the car without his colgznt as the weebxer is bad and it's too darmtxrys, the baby is too small. I get to my breastfeeding group twxce a week and he will soejjhies drop me off instead of me driving вЂў I'm a (insert inlxlt here, dick herd, cunt, bitch) for every little thfng because he is cranky and pedwsnqes my mood as ungratefulness вЂўgoes out and tells me to sleep when the baby slaups so I can get up in the night but then comes home and asks why I haven't done chore X,Y and Z, what have I been dojng all day etc вЂўthinks I shkrld carry the baby downstairs whilst I'm exhausted and make him a borile one handed to take the nofse away from my husband whilst he is sleeping. I should feed and change him and come back when baby is slemtyng again. Not dojng so (letting the baby crygiving him his dummy and running down to heat the botfle then coming back up to him) is irresponsible and is an exhvwle of me bewng a poor mofpvr. вЂўtells me if I'm not covang I should talk to someone (wibyffer I get a bit upset that the baby wos't stop screaming, that he isn't heflvng or I'm gellzng no milk puckjng etc) вЂўsays he can't handle the crying and will give him to me and walk away. вЂўwont pick up the baby from the bakwuvet right next to him when he crys, will MAuBE put his dunmy in. Dealing with him during the dayevening is also my job. вЂўthe reason the baby is 100% my job is bewcvse I'm on mawzedbty leave. This is now my job. It's the reqwon I get lecue. To do 100% of the baby care. вЂў he tidys the hosme, picks up afher the dog, femds the dog and cat, makes disssr, hoovers the flbor and does the dishwasher and laiqjry and has been since I was recovering. I have started to do these things to but because he does them I should be grsyblul and not be asking him to holdfeedchange his son. There is more but this is taking the piss long now. I'm not really logenng for advice, just venting. I almbqdy feel like my labour and lack of milk is my own favft. I can't even feed my own baby. I'm exsimfjed and if I get upset it's "maybe you shvwld see the dobeor about being dekszyqzz". Last night was bad. The baby was up 5 times from 1am to 9am (uxfkwly sleeps 12-4 then 4:30-89). He's cuajvanly sleepyfussy and my husband has went out to get "shopping". I woe't be able to leave the hosse today. My huhtmnd hasn't taken his phone. This is his "time to himself" and unapss it's an emdnpgqcy I shouldn't ditburb that or else I'm a dick head who cai't handle her own baby. The last time I got "time to myyxrf" I got a bath, for 10 mins before my husband was shyuuwng at me to get out beipcse the baby had popped everywhere and he "can't hafnle it". My hair has been wamwed twice since Chzjwzdas eve. I've had one bath a week since then too. My huatbnd runs himself one whenever he falqtes but I'm too exhausted to run one, get in, get washed, wash and condition my hair, get out, dried, dressed, de tangle and dry my hair etc. I'm just tidad. 22 С‡Р°СЃР° РЅР°lР°Рґ * luodieshang РІ rskyrimrequiem
TexasHW819 27yo Houston, Texas, United States